Being a constant worrier is a condition that plagues many throughout the world. To me, there are three key steps involved when trying to learn how to stop worrying: 1) realizing that stressing out doesn’t accomplish anything, 2) trying to channel your energy into solving the problems that you can, and 3) learning to accept situations that really are out of your control. Even in the midst of turmoil, you can choose to be proactive and positive, tending to what you can and leaving the rest alone.
1. Recognizing that Worrying Doesn’t Accomplish Anything
Don’t Waste Time and Energy on Stressing Out About What’s Already in the Past
A large percentage of our typical, everyday worries concern incidents that have already happened–things that are over with and can’t be changed, regardless of whether we keep worrying or not. The dinner you served to your guests last night was overcooked, toilet paper was stuck to your shoe today when you came back from a break and you just got negative feedback on the last report you submitted.
You’re letting all of your disappointed feelings set in and continue to weigh you down, but all of those unfortunate events are already in the past so focusing your energy on being sad isn’t going to improve the situation at all.
Stop Obsessing Over the What-If Possibilities That Could Surface in the Future
Another giant chunk of our worries is based on the what-ifs of life. What if I lose my job, what if my boyfriend breaks up with me, what if I get sick, what if I don’t make it into college or what if I can’t lose the weight I gained while I was pregnant? Because the future is unknown, the possibilities of worrying are truly endless. What if a meteor strikes down my house, what if a unicorn bites and infects me with some fatal disease and what if my arm just suddenly falls off one day?
Most of us will agree that worrying about those latter concerns is crazy, but it might be just as crazy to spend your whole life thinking about everything that could possibly happen to put you in a place of disadvantage. Why damage your mental and emotional well-being now just in case something challenging happens in the future?
2. Channeling Your Energy Into Solving Problems
Determine if There is a Useful Course of Action to Take
Some of the problems that we worry about actually have a solution. When you’re worried that your friend may be hurt by something you said, you can actually talk to your friend and explain your original intentions while expressing your apologies if she misunderstood. When you’re worried about your boss being mad that you came in late today, you can make sure that your boss knows it was a family emergency and you’re planning on staying late in order to make up for the time.
Be Proactive So That Fewer Sources of Potential Worry Exist
In line with making the best use of your time after a problem has occurred, you can also maximize your effectiveness by addressing issues before they’re even allowed to fester into something possibly problematic.
If you know you’re going to be late to work, call your boss ahead of time to explain the situation so that you’re not waiting on pins and needles and agonizing over what her reaction will end up being. If you’re worried that the college of your choice might not accept your application, you can minimize the setback by applying to more than one pick. If you’re worried about your health, you can schedule a check-up with your doctor and see if there are any diet and lifestyle changes that may help increase your chances of staying healthy and well.
3. Reaching Acceptance When Circumstances are Out of Your Control
Learn From the Experiences That Have Brought You to Where You Are Today
When the situations you worry about really do have no solution, you can just do your best to move on. If your boyfriend broke up with you and doesn’t want to get back together, there’s nothing to do about the situation, regardless of how sad and discouraged you may feel, besides moving forward. Reflecting on a negative circumstance in order to minimize the likelihood of the same kind of setback occurring in the future can be a positive strategy that helps produce understanding and growth, but only when this reflection process doesn’t involve worrying about the past, present or future. We only look back to yesterday in order to carve out for ourselves a better tomorrow.
Put Life Into Perspective, Recognizing That a Moment of Sadness Doesn’t Have to Hurt Forever
When facing unfortunate events and circumstances, we can minimize our worries by looking at the issues within the grand scheme of life. It can be tough to lose a job, but that company isn’t the only one out there and a better position may be just around the corner. Having to move out of your house may be a challenge, but the change may provide you with valuable opportunities for new friendships and positive experiences. Whether you worry or not, your circumstances won’t change so be positive and recognize that it’s not the end of the world.
Find Hope and Trust that the Future is as Bright as Your Courage
One of my favorite thoughts comes from a poem by Robert Browning: “the best is yet to be.”
Whether you believe that an all-knowing, all-loving God is watching over you, or you find strength and courage in other ways such as from the simple fact that you can do hard things,
you can join in with the millions of others around the world who are hopeful and confident about the future. Stop worrying about what you can’t change and focus on what you can do. After taking all of the steps you can in order to improve your circumstances, have faith and trust that things will eventually work out. Whether you live a life of joy or worry, the choice is up to you.
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